From one model minority gone rogue to another, yes absolutely yes.
And also, as a recovering tech addict: there is nothing wrong with you even if you can’t get off socials because you’re too depressed and want to numb out the existential pain.
You will find the way. You WILL find a way. You have an amazing and continued odyssey ahead. You are not alone!!
Questions that helped me:
- “What are you pretending not to know?” one from Martha Beck (a fellow Harvard grad who unlearnt her programming!)
- who are you, beyond other people’s expectations?
- who could you be, if you believed you were good enough exactly as you are?
- who might you become, if you sat and listened to that still quiet voice?
It’s only in crises that I found the old scripts could break away. The crises are an opening for the ego to break and the fear to unravel. The crises which shatter who you think you’re expected to be to become who you truly are.
Great article, Dave. I don't think this message can be said enough. As an immigrant kid growing up in a hyper competitive Korean American community in NYC and Long Island, there wasn't a whole lot of talk about honoring your inherent self worth. One's source of self-regard was: education, job, affiliation with prestigious organizations, career stability, and physical image. Then as an adult, it became spouse's job/income, children's success, wealth (property ownership, equity, how early you can retire), expensive experiences you can buy, etc. Being Korean American wasn't a source of pride (although now it is!!!!). Effort, resilience, persistence and tenacity were a means to an end. I do hope our community continues to evolve and value us for us, not how others evaluate us.
"It’s a matter of finding the discipline and willpower to fight the inertia and start building momentum towards a goal you can care about." Getting started is half the battle - I'm in my early stage of (re)discovering myself, and found the freedom to start random projects on my own extremely liberating. Thank you for sharing!
From one model minority gone rogue to another, yes absolutely yes.
And also, as a recovering tech addict: there is nothing wrong with you even if you can’t get off socials because you’re too depressed and want to numb out the existential pain.
You will find the way. You WILL find a way. You have an amazing and continued odyssey ahead. You are not alone!!
Questions that helped me:
- “What are you pretending not to know?” one from Martha Beck (a fellow Harvard grad who unlearnt her programming!)
- who are you, beyond other people’s expectations?
- who could you be, if you believed you were good enough exactly as you are?
- who might you become, if you sat and listened to that still quiet voice?
It’s only in crises that I found the old scripts could break away. The crises are an opening for the ego to break and the fear to unravel. The crises which shatter who you think you’re expected to be to become who you truly are.
Love this post! Thank you, Dave! 🥳🥳🥳
Great article, Dave. I don't think this message can be said enough. As an immigrant kid growing up in a hyper competitive Korean American community in NYC and Long Island, there wasn't a whole lot of talk about honoring your inherent self worth. One's source of self-regard was: education, job, affiliation with prestigious organizations, career stability, and physical image. Then as an adult, it became spouse's job/income, children's success, wealth (property ownership, equity, how early you can retire), expensive experiences you can buy, etc. Being Korean American wasn't a source of pride (although now it is!!!!). Effort, resilience, persistence and tenacity were a means to an end. I do hope our community continues to evolve and value us for us, not how others evaluate us.
Love this and resonated with this so much!
"It’s a matter of finding the discipline and willpower to fight the inertia and start building momentum towards a goal you can care about." Getting started is half the battle - I'm in my early stage of (re)discovering myself, and found the freedom to start random projects on my own extremely liberating. Thank you for sharing!
You’ve clearly gotten past the hardest part: getting started!